Finding My Way Back to Me

Everyone tells you how amazing it is to become a mom. And yes, they are right! But no one tells you how much you'll change. I don't just mean appearance wise. I gained a little weight after having kids, and I definitely found new meaning to life at 25 years old after having my first child. But no mother out there prepares you for the harsh new reality that some of us experience.... .....Loosing yourself..... I'm sure that I am not the first to feel this way. For so long we lived in a society where it was taboo to speak on those things. We weren't allowed to stay at home and have a bad day, leave the dishes in the sink, or the laundry for tomorrow. We stayed at home, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, fed the kids and bathed them. I LOVE my children + my husband and I absolutely LOVE being a mom and everything that comes with it, but the honest truth is that as moms, we too need a break. It's ok to go out with your girlfriends for dinner. It's ok to have a few drinks and have fun. We are humans too and we deserve a break from our daily routine, from our husbands and dare I say.... kids!? Now, don't get it twisted. I still take care of the house and the kids and the husband. But now I'm also adding a little me time. Whether it's work related or going out for a girls night. The girl I used to be... While in high school I made a good amount of friends. I was never really popular with the boys, but that never bothered me too much. I grew up in a strict household with a strict Dominican mom, so going out for me didn't really happen until after I got my license, and even then, I always had my younger siblings with me. I played Volleyball and competed in a vocational school program called Skills USA VICA. I was always outgoing and very personable, but my real personality didn't make its debut until college. I was known as the fun, free spirited, spunky girl. I made a ton of friends that I still talk to today. Life was great. I met my husband in 2004. It wasn't Love at first sight for him, but it was for me. For the next five years, We occasionally bumped into each other. I was his sisters best friend, so I saw him most at his home, or in school. We never really got the chance to hangout alone until one random day and long story short, the rest is history. Here is where I start to loose myself... We were a couple of kids in love, living life and having fun. We had our first child in 2011, which was an easy pregnancy but everything around us wasn't so easy. We moved in with my parents, and we were both just trying to figuere out our next move. I wanted to be closer to my mother, but I didn't want to live under the same roof because it wasn't exactly the most stress free environement for me at the time. I was diagnosed with severe pre eclampsia ( high blood pressure and protein in the urine during pregnancy = No Bueno! ) which led to a two almost 3 week stay in the hospital. I delivered Olivia at 31 weeks and 6 days, just a day shy from 32 weeks. Even though our baby was 8 weeks premature, everything turned out great. We were very lucky that we walked out of the NICU only a month later. First came Love, then came Baby, then came Marriage.... Because Olivia was premature, I felt the need to stay home with her and care for her. She did require some early intervention, but she was a very healthy baby. Once I became a mom though, My life completely changed, she was my world, and I LIVED for her. Which is fine, I'm a mother, and it's what we do. There will never be a day where I will blame my children or husband for anything that I didn't finish. It's always been on me, and only me but because I stayed home and did not work, I was not able to go back to school to finish my bachelor's degree and start my career. Fast forward to 2014, We finally get married. But before getting there though, I struggled with a lot. My husband worked overnights and I decided to go back to school for Medical Assisting and later on landed an opportunity at a hospital working days in an outpatient department. We were able to move back out on our own and we were both living life as passersby. I held a lot of recentment towards him because I did about 95% of the parenting and took care of our home. it wasn't him... at least not all of it, I am able to realize now that he had to deal with his issues too. I thought that because motherhood clicked so easily for me, that it should have for him as well...(AmIRight?) But somehow, I worked through those issues on my own and on August 1,2014, We had finally made it official and we all had the same last name now.... Fast Foward to 2015... We decided that we were going to finally try for baby #2. We weren't getting any younger and we really wanted a sibling for Olivia. Dan had gone from third shift to second shift and I was able to work an 8:30-5. We had olivia in a private daycare, which wasn't my favorite thing, but she really needed more interaction with children and so we did it. One night, on the weekend after Thanksgiving, I took a pregnancy test, just for fun. I had a cold that I couldn't shake for some reason but it was November and Olivia was in daycare so I'm sure she came home with something. I was due for my cycle any day now ( I was actually two months late and didn't realize it... I'm the worst with keeping track, LOL ) so it was literally just to see.... POSITIVE Oh.My.GOD! we were so excited! After taking six more tests, just to make sure ( LOL ), we talked things through, and made sure that we were on the same page and that this time we were going to be a team (which we have been! Fatherhood clicked!) I had a great pregnancy... except for the fact that I was constantly in pain and cried every night! BUT I didn't have Preeclampsia and I was full term and we had a healthy beautiful baby boy! Our family was complete and it felt so good! Fast Forward to Sept 2016...I was still very happy and overjoyed over staying home with my kids. I left my full time job, which I wasn't really happy at, but my manager refused to work around my schedule ( I say refuse, because she could have done it, but chose not to and then turned around and offered another mom needing the same exact hours that I was requesting and gave her those hours.... It's fine) and so I had to leave. We couldn't afford $1,000 a week for daycare. We could have, but that would be my whole paycheck... and we had other bills... so it just wasn't worth it for us. I was farely happy until I found myself working a part time job that I wasn't really too excited about. I started to think about school, and how I was never going to be able to finish. We didn't have money saved up and my paychecks were crap. I dreamed of owning a business, but I just didn't know how... Finding my way back... Growing up in a Hispanic household created very little room for dull moments. When we weren’t attending a party, we were having the party! It wasn’t until after getting married and planning the wedding myself, that I decided that this is what I wanted to do. Planning the wedding to me wasn’t stressful at all, I felt accomplished and best of all proud of all the hard work I had put in. Even though I already had a degree in Communications, I decided to also get certified in event planning. But between having baby #2, leaving my good paying full time job, and staying home with the kids, I had put myself on the back burner and forgot that I too, needed to take care of myself. I was feeling especially low one night, I started to vent to Dan on how I felt so unhappy with life. I LOVE my children and my husband, but I was just feeling unhappy with everything else around me. I told him that I was unhappy in my part time job and how I wished that I could start my own event planning business. He turned to me with a confused look and simply asked ‘why not?’. Why not? I honestly didn’t have an answer for that question. After going back and forth for a few minutes, he finally convinced me to take the leap of faith and create Lovely Events by Von. At first, I wanted to take it slow, but the more I started to write down my ideas, the more excited I became. I had done hours of research on the internet and had read through most of the event planning,communications and marketing textbooks that I still had laying around. I created my Facebook business page and websites all in one weekend. I worked all day and night for two straight days and after a week of double checking my work and second guessing myself, I decided to put myself out there and I haven’t looked back ever since. Finding Hope.... I didn't really have anyone around me that owned a business. Especially not another mom who understood the struggles and the difficulties of having to go around everyone else's schedule. I decided to reach out to a manager that used to work with me. I remembered that she owned a catering business and was also a mother of two. I wasn't sure if she would be able to offer some advice, but I decided to call her up anyway. About a month after starting up the business, I learned about this community called, Pepperlane. I had build a friendship with Kelli, and fellow Pepperlane mom. She took me under her wing and asked me to help with a bridal shower that she was hired to cater. During our downtime we were talking business and how we enjoyed each other’s company because we both know the struggles of being a mom and wanting a career too. Pepperlane came out in casual conversation and she suggested that I join too. Once I got home, I signed up for the website and immediately felt an incredible sense of belonging. This community of mothers, who own their business have been able to live their best life and still able to put their children first. I wanted to know more.... Learning + growing from this journey.... I went from being a spunky, fun loving, career motivated, young girl... ...to falling in love... ...to becoming a mom... ...to loosing myself... ...to finding hope.... ...and a beautiful community of Mompreneurs who inspire and encourage me every single day! This community is more than just a forum for moms. These ladies are so selfless and have truly motivated and inspired me to grow into the business woman that I am today. I have found courage to put myself out there. I have even started encouraging other mothers to get in on the action! It is important to let you know that I DO NOT work for Pepperlane. This is not an Ad. This is not something that I am getting paid for... I am simply happy with this community and found that it helps me. There are so many moms out there that may have a skill that they didn’t know could be turned into a business. Why not be that voice to tell them that... "...Hey girl, you’ve got this! You don’t have to do this alone!" "All art involves risk" - Danielle Porte #TruthBomb Wife and mother of two young children, Von Marie Moniz is the Event Planner and Owner of Lovely Events by Von. Clients love her bubbly personality and attention to detail. Planning is what she does, relaxing and enjoying yourself is what you will be doing when you hire Von for your next event. www.pepperlane.co www.pepperlane.co/vonmariemoniz-0 #lost #depression #motherhood #firsttimemom #firsttimemom #momoftwo #momoftwo #takingcareofyourself #takingcareofyourself #2018 #wecandoit #inspirationforthenewyear #empowering #thisismyyear

Finding My Way Back to Me