Things They Don't Tell you About Getting Engaged.
Holiday season has come and gone, but I'm willing to bet that there's many of newly engaged couples coming into the New Year. November-January is usually when a lot of men/women decide to propose. It's definitely an exciting time, but there's a lot of pressure or frustration for the couple the following days or weeks after. These are some of the things that you are not prepared for after announcing your engagement. 1. Let me see the ring! Believe it or not, I can be a little shy and modest when it comes to showing things off. I can get pretty awkward just receiving gifts from my own family. So when people ask to see my ring, it's pretty painful. This can be equally as awkward or painful for a bride that doesn't have her ring yet. It might've been too big or too small and it's getting resized. The best way to get around the unavoidable question, is to wait until your ring is back and then announce. It might be killing you inside, but saving yourself from the awkward conversation may be worth it. 2. How did he do it? This is something that will always be asked. If you're like me, you may actually not have a story. A lot of people will ask the question but sometimes they want to get into their story too. People love reliving this happy an exciting time. They aren't doing it to "one up you", they are just happy and want to also remember their happy moment. The best way to deal with this question is to keep it simple. You don't have to go into major details. Always remember that whatever the story is, it is YOUR story and it's special, just like your relationship. 3. You may not look your best. As women, we always dream of the day our perfect man/woman will pop the question. We're in a hot air balloon and as he pops the champagne, he'll just get down on one knee and do it. The reality is though, that your partner may not be able to do this for you. They are the ones planning it, not you. If you haven't shared this fantasy with them, then they may not know that's what you want. The truth of the matter is though, whether it happened a million feet up in the air, or sitting down on your couch, you will be just as excited and will most likely forget about that fantasy you had. It will not matter what you're wearing or where you are. I think we would all love the surprise, not matter how it's done. 4. You'll be staring at your hand... a lot. It's a new beautiful piece of jewelry. Who wouldn't want to stare? You'll start talking with your hands more often, and everyone will know that you're engaged. I think a lot of us don't even realize we're doing it. It's like the hand gets a little heavier. 5. When and Where is the wedding? People will almost immediately start asking this question. If you're not even close to planning, kindly let them know that you are just enjoying these moments of being engaged. The question will usually go away and then it'll come back around a few months later. 6. Not everyone is going to be happy for you. It's unfortunate, but you have to remember that a negative reaction is not a reflection on you or your relationship. The people not happy for you may be jealous, or sad, or both. If you're in a happy and healthy relationship, you can start forgetting about the negative nancies because they will only cause frustrations. That being said, If you're in an unhealthy relationship, then they may just be looking out for your best interest. Some people should definitely not get married. Part of being an adult though, is to figure these things out on your own. You can choose to work on yourself and your relationship or you can choose to listen to the others around you. Either way, your life, your decision. 7. You'll figure out who you can really count on. Best friends don't always make the best maid of honor or best bridesmaids. Some will say that they are happy, when they aren't and may cause some issues throughout the wedding planning process. If you find that this has already started early on, then it is best to kindly let them go. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, you don't need the added stress. 8. Everyone is a wedding expert. You'll hear all sorts of advice. "Don't get married here" "Don't do that" Don't buy that dress". The best way to handle that, is to thank them for their advice, and just forget about it and do your thing. 9. You'll get tired of talking about it all. Yes, you may actually hit a point where you don't want to talk wedding anymore. It's so much, that sometimes you just need a break. When that happens, just take your break. Take a minute to breathe, have a spa day, or just vent to your girls. Don't let the pressure deter you from what you want to do. 10. Your relationship will feel different. This is a big commitment. You'll start second guessing yourself and your decisions. This can go terribly wrong or it can go the other way. You may fall into a "wife role". You'll start to look at your life differently and want to start acting differently. Doesn't mean your changing in a bad way. You're changing and figuring out how to accommodate another person in your life. The most important advice that I can give is to stay in the moment. Stay present. Enjoy your happy engagement and when you're ready to move forward with planning, do it. But then let anyone else dictate how you want your experience to be. Congratulations on your engagement + Happy Planning! Wife and mother of two young children, Von Marie Moniz is the Event Planner and Owner of Lovely Events by Von. Clients love her bubbly personality and attention to detail. Planning is what she does, relaxing and enjoying yourself is what you will be doing when you hire Von for your next event.